I don’t love “I love boobies”

One of the latest “cool” things to do if you are in middle school (particularly if you’re a middle school boy) is to wear one of those livestrong knock-off bracelets that says, “I Love Boobies.”

I know the money goes to a great cause whether it’s worn by a breast cancer survivor or a smart-ass thirteen year old, but it irks me none the less.  It brings out a side of me that’s not my favorite.  We’ll call her “tired, inflexible, and mildly inappropriate teacher”.    Tired inflexible teacher wants to walk up to each little middle school punk and say, “Really, you love boobies?  Really?  What do you love about them?  Please tell me why you’re so inclined to wear that bracelet here in class?  What is so great about boobies?”

Or better yet, “Boobies are great, aren’t they?  But you really don’t know why yet.  Take that damn thing off until you do!!!!!!”

Or even better, “Does your mother know you wear that bracelet?  She must be so proud that you’re honoring the fact that you were breastfed?  What a devoted young man you are!”