Author: sashikaufman

I am a middle school teacher and writer of young adult fiction. I live in Portland Maine.
Reading, School

Back to Middle School

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A couple days ago I was back in my classroom when the “Sneak Peak” sixth graders were coming through the middle school to check it out in advance of their official arrival.

Here’s what I saw:

Curiosity, sure.

Anxiety, definitely.

Fear, somewhat.

The farther we get from middle school (just in time, some people kind of camp out there emotionally for the rest of their lives) the less likely we are to remember the turmoil that is adolescence.  It can be a time of intense loneliness for many young people. They don’t know who they are, or who they’re supposed to be, or who they want to be. What I wish most for my middle school students, aside from supportive involved parents, food and shelter,  is one good friend.  That’s really all you need to make it through.  But unfortunately there are a lot of kids who don’t even have that.

So for those kids I hope they can find a good book, preferably a lot of them. I hope they can find a book with a character they relate to, or idolize, laugh or cry with.  Because sometimes that’s all it takes to feel less alone in the world.  This has nothing to do with English class or curriculum or meeting state standards. This is about making connections, the kind of connections that can get you through a rough patch. It’s about opening your eyes to new experiences and knowing that the world is a big place.

The editors of the Norton Anthology of English Literature were recently interviewed here about the 50th anniversary edition. At the end of the interview both were asked why study literature? Their answers are best read in full but here are a few quotes I liked:

“It broadens you, it makes you more human.”

“It expands you in every way. It illuminates what you’re doing.”

I want that for my students. I want that as a teacher, a reader and a writer.

Uncategorized, Writing

The Revision Conversation

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I have recently started revising Go West my soon to be published YA novel. I’ve been reading through my editor’s (Andrew from Carolrhoda Lab) notes. Which by the way are excellent. Each one could elicit an entire conversation and I feel thrilled and lucky to have such a smart set of eyes on this manuscript.

One thing I’m realizing as I read through something I haven’t read in about 9 months, is that I’m a different writer now. One small example is that when I wrote the first draft I wasn’t a parent. Go West is about a teenage boy who runs away and I’ve realized that in my writing I’ve been pretty unsympathetic to his mother -who has her own set of issues.  However, if I wrote this today I doubt very much I would write her character the same way.

I also think I’m a better writer than when I first wrote this -which is great because it’s always nice to feel like you’re improving on something you devote a lot of time to.  (Since I wrote Go West, I’ve completed a first and second draft of a new book. ) There are little things in Go West that make me cringe but are easy to fix. I guess it’s just nice to see a progression.

My freshman year in college I took an intro to lit course with a white-bearded professor who’s name now escapes me. Imagine Gandalf but with a love of Henry James.  One of his pet peeves was when people talked about whatever we were reading and referred to the author. “It’s not the author anymore,” he chided us. “What is the text telling you?” This emphasis on the text as separate from the author comes back to me now as I’m revising my own words. As I re-read Go West I make a lot of notes. These notes are a kind of conversation I’m having between myself, the text, and the person I was when I originally wrote it. Luckily we’re all good friends.

Writing

I was a Twitter Doubter

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It’s true. I was completely skeptical that any form of social media could improve any part of my life in any way. I wasn’t even on facebook (a big part of that was my fear of being stalked by my students).  So this post is a bit of an ode to my love for twitter. Make your face of disgust now ye doubters…then read on!

Reasons why I love twitter:

1. There is an incredible community of YA writers on twitter. And for the most part they are open and friendly even if they don’t know you. (Provided you don’t act like a total bonehead stalker -that could be another post.)

2. Twitter is communication without commitment. I’m sure not everyone feels this way about facebook, but to me facebook is much more showy. See how pretty my garden is. Look at how great my vacation was. Check out how cute my kid is. I’m sure I’m going to get push back on this, and I know not everyone is lucky enough to have family close by who can see their great vacation/garden/kid whenever they want…but my point is it’s very calculated and very staged. Twitter, in its 140 character glory, is very improvisational, silly, casual, cranky, and true to life.  Okay, not everyone on Twitter is like this, but the people I like to follow are.

3. Twitter helps me write. Really. Twitter keeps me sitting at my computer longer. It gives me short breaks; just enough time to recharge and go back to whatever I’m working on. The key word here is short. It’s not a long email, or 185 vacation photos. It’s just a quick thought, a great shared quote, maybe a link to save for later.

Back to facebook. I don’t post that frequently on fb. Maybe it’s my own hang up, but fb makes me feel like I’m in high school again and I might not be pretty or cool enough to say the right thing. But I do tweet quite a bit. So if you can’t get enough of my personal charm and wisdom feel free to follow @sashikaufman. You won’t regret it.

(And of course this will be linked to my fb page. Help, help, I’m drowning in irony and hypocrisy!)

Random musings, Writing

Never Do This Before Bed

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I’ve been wrestling with a bit of an insomnia monkey in the last month and as such I’ve been trying to keep my pre-bed routine fairly dull and screen-free. Last weekend when I was staying at my parents’ house I made the mistake of grabbing my high school yearbook off the shelf at around 10 pm. Big mistake. Huge.

Soon I was poring over the pages, trying to remember private jokes from…well…from a while ago and pondering the meaning of several very deep and heartfelt messages from people I didn’t even remember being friends with. It also got me thinking about this article.  The gist of it is that as we get older we’re less open to forming new friendships. I have three close friends I’ve held on to since high school and several more from college who are pretty critical to my existence. *smiles and waves *  The whole thing made me wonder about the ways we are more open to others when we’re adolescents.  This is of particular interest to me because I write about adolescents -and particularly ones who form unlikely friendships and relationships.

There was one message in my yearbook from someone who claimed a conversation we had (May 24th 1994 -yes he cited the date) changed his life. Yep, changed his life! And I have no memory of it, except a sneaking suspicion I might have told him I thought he was gay. Not so subtle in those days. Heck, still not very subtle.

There was another short message from someone who simply signed as “no future boy”. Now that was intriguing. No idea on that one either. So the bottom line is reading your high school yearbook is great fodder for writing, and very bad for sleeping.

Reading, Sneaky Motherhood

I want to go in field

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This morning I was reading a book to my two year old. (Incidentally, it’s one that she loves and I find mind-numbing) And she pointed to a picture of a sunny flower filled meadow and said, “I want to go in field.” I know what she means and I’m amazed that this kind of connection with books starts so early. Yes, I wanted to tell her. I want to be a student at Hogwarts too. Or years ago I wanted to gather trash and treasure with the Boxcar Children, play on the prairie with Laura and Mary, or fight the forces of evil with Alanna of Trebond.

I’m thrilled that books are exciting to her in this way; that they make her want to be a part of something new or go somewhere unusual. It is a limitless and life-long journey.

What’s the book you can remember wanting to be a part of?

Uncategorized

YA Boys; A Matter of Taste

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I’ve read a few books in these first 2 1/2 weeks of my summer vacation. Last night I picked up a YA title that’s been on my to-read pile for some time. Because my own soon to be published YA is first person male POV I’m always interested to read books that are also from this perspective.

Unfortunately after reading the first 20 pages I found myself completely disappointed with the voice and the main character. Let’s call this character semi-insecure boob obsessor. It might be okay if he was self-deprecating and humble, but he’s obnoxious and self-obsessed. And not in a funny way.  Perhaps the point of this book is for the character to figure out what a jerk he is and learn to see people from the shoulders up. But what if it’s not? How long do I want to go on this journey with this character?

But more problematic than my distaste for the main character, is my inability to connect with this voice. What fourteen year old boy knows the phrase “visible panty line”? Sure they know what it is, but only the sales women in Macy’s actually use the term. This to me suggests that the author is too close to the main character and hasn’t effectively separated his own adolescence from the character’s. It’s a tricky thing to do; understand the adolescent mind while writing with one that’s 20 or 30 years older. But it really has to be done well for YA fiction to work, for me at least.

Update: a little goodreads research revealed that those who loved the book found the main character to be funny and true to the male adolescent. Those who didn’t, found him to be offensive and stereotypical. So once again it’s probably a matter of taste.

Incidentally, there are plenty of great YA authors out there writing from the male POV who I think are doing it brilliantly. John Green, A.S. King, Matt De La Pena  and A. M. Jenkins are just a few that come to mind.

Uncategorized

Everyone dies; adults versus kids on literature

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I recently read this review of See You at Harry’s the most recent book by children’s and YA author Jo Knowles. The review was written by Claire Messud, author of the Emperor’s Children -which is decidedly not a children’s book. In the review Messud compares her reaction with that of her 10 year old daughter.

While Messud felt that some of the more traumatic moments of the story were quickly glossed over, her daughter was relieved to get over the sad parts and get back to the story.

This reminded me of my own 8th grade students who like to point out that someone dies in every book we read as a whole-class novel. “Well,” I said casually, “In life there is death.” Or something equally irritating and all-knowing. But I forget that for your average middle school student life is about life, not death. For many of them middle school might be the time at which they first realize that life and death are inextricably intertwined. It can be kind of a shocker.

Literature serves a different purpose in each person’s life regardless of age; entertainment, education, distraction, enlightenment, or sheer boredom. Every year I meet kids who assure me that despite my best efforts, they will never meet a book they really like. (Many of those kids lost their bet to the Hunger Games.) Fiction is, like any art, judged subjectively. I can’t tell you how many times I read something and recommend it to students only to have them tell me it was “okay”, or “a little boring.”

So I applaud Claire Messud for taking the space in her review to compare her own judgments with that of the book’s intended audience. The majority of book reviews of YA and children’s lit. are written by adults. And a lot of adults seem to think they know what’s best for children and teenagers to read. The voice of a 10 year old in the NY Times book review was a refreshing change.

Random musings, School

What I’m Grateful For…

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It’s the first day of my summer vacation and as the G-ds would have it I have a nasty head cold. I would not have even gone to work yesterday if it were not the last day of school. So apologies right now if I wrote something unintelligible or profane in your yearbook kids.

I am grateful for this beautiful sunny day even if I can’t enjoy it the way I might like to. I did go outside to wash my sandals! I am grateful for daycare which means the wee one doesn’t have to put up with my snuffling and general grumpiness.

But I am especially grateful for my students. I read this article this morning in which teachers were interviewed about why they think kids drop out. And teachers, I must say, are an optimistic bunch in general. At the end of the article they were each asked what it is that keeps them going.  They all attributed their positive and hopeful attitudes to their kids and their love of teaching kids. Teaching is all about connections. If you can’t connect with someone why on earth would they want to listen to what you have to say? (I could probably go on about that ad nauseum)

It’s pretty traditional for kids to get my end of the year gifts and while these are always appreciated, my favorite part are the cards. Getting a middle school student to sit down (even if forced by parents) and write you a note of appreciation is a minor miracle. So I’m especially grateful for any words of appreciation and feedback that come from my students. By the by, my cards usually say things like “You are weird and funny.” Comments that might have upset me when I was actually in middle school now make me beam with pride.

So maybe the final thing I’m grateful for is perspective. Perspective allows me to remember that this head cold will not last forever and there will be plenty of days to enjoy the sunshine. Perspective allows me to create meaningful connections with my students but also to understand that it is right and natural that they move on and so do I.  When I’m doing my best at keeping things in perspective I can enjoy all the wonderful parts of my existence without feeling anxious about what may come, or not come. So I’m grateful for those moments too. Dayenu!

 

Writing

Do you like what you’re writing?

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My husband meant it conversationally. He had no idea what a huge loaded writing question it was. It’s really hard to like something while you’re drafting. It’s much easier to convince yourself (at least for me) that it sucks and will always suck.

My Dad gave me this writing mantra which I try and remind myself of frequently; “I will not hate what I write.” I use it to remind myself that you can’t and shouldn’t judge what you’re writing -particularly not when writing a first draft. Other phases of the process do call for judgment and editing, but not first drafts.

Also, any kind of positive answer to the question feels like I might be jinxing myself. Like if I say yes, than I’ll never write another decent word. So when I say yes, I say it in the tiniest most secretly brave piglet of ways.

So what do I like about what I’m writing right now? I like certain characters. I like moments, I like certain scenes. In particular this one scene I wrote recently where a teenage girl falls on the boy she likes, knocking the wind out of him just when he’s about to kiss her for the first time.

What do you like about what you’re writing? (Answer if you dare!)