Reading, Sneaky Motherhood

More shifts in perspective

sashikaufman

When I started writing this blog I didn’t have a baby.  When Eliana came along I still didn’t want to blog about motherhood.  There are enough Mommy blogs out there (aspiring writer blogs; there’s a real shortage there).

But regardless, being a mother colors and shades every part of my life, so occasionally it will sneak its way into a post. Most recently, I’ve noticed that being a mother has changed the way I read.  When a parent and child were separated in a book I was reading, I always identified with the child.  I felt their fear, but also their resilience and the tinge of excitement that comes with being on your own.  Now I might read the same passage and feel nothing but terror for the child set adrift in the world without the parent.  I feel the pain of separation much more viscerally than I ever did before.

The circumstances are the same.  I think I feel it differently because a child doesn’t assume they can control the world.  A child is more content to adapt and move with the current than swim against it.   I should know better than to expect to control the forces of nature that will affect my daughter or myself.  I would like to read that way and I would like to live that way as best I can.

School

Inference 101

sashikaufman

While reading an article about lung capacity my 7th grade students marveled at a picture of Dizzy Gillespie blowing on his trumpet.

Students: Who’s that?

Me: That’s Dizzy Gillespie.  He’s a famous jazz musician, but I don’t think he’s alive anymore.

Student: (shouting) Is he dead?!

Me: Mmmm, yep.

School

Shifting perspective or peeing alone

sashikaufman

I used to think my job was really exhausting because of the emotional presence required to be an effective teacher.  Since having a baby 8 months ago and subsequently returning to work I’ve gained new perspective on what being present can really mean.

As exhausting as being a teacher is,  I get a prep period.  I get to eat lunch (for 17 minutes) and I get to pee alone.

Reading, Writing

The Holidays

sashikaufman

I love holiday movies.  I can’t help it.  They’re shmaltzy and predictable but I just can’t help myself.  I like the funny ones, the dramatic ones, mainstream and independents.  Everything from a Christmas Story to David Sedaris Holidays on Ice. There’s just something about celebrating holidays that seems to encapsulate a certain amount of relational humor and drama.

My current work in progress takes place between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve.   The story kicks off with a particularly painful holiday in which the main character’s visiting cousin pees in his bed and his mother lies to him about the death of his beloved grandmother.

Do you have a favorite holiday moment; fictional or autobiographical?

Reading, Writing

When is sex allowed?

sashikaufman

When is sex or even heavy petting (yeah, that’s right I’m bringing this phrase back) allowed in YA fiction?

  • When someone is dying or dies shortly afterward.
  • As a cautionary tale about teen pregnancy.
  • When it’s somehow non-consensual.
  • When it’s the biggest mistake of the character’s life.

Why do most teenagers have sex?

  • Because they’re curious.
  • Because they’re bored.
  • Or God forbid because it feels good!!!!

This side is somehow less “ok” to write about.  One of the refreshing things about a book I read recently called The DUFF was that it dealt with teens who were having sex and enjoying themselves without the world ending.  Now I don’t necessarily think all, or even most, teenagers are ready for sex.  But they are capable of having healthy relationships that are sexual in some way.  So why isn’t it written about?

Writing

Love you, hate your writing

sashikaufman

It’s completely possible to love or really like a person and dislike their writing.  It’s challenging when it happens in writing groups, doesn’t matter so much when you read a great interview with an author and it turns out you can’t stand their novel.

But what about the reverse?  Can you find someone incredibly annoying or morally repugnant but still love their fiction?  My Mom couldn’t watch a Woody Allen movie after his relationship with his step-daughter went public.  She just couldn’t laugh at him any more.  Does a bad opinion of someone forever taint what they write?

 

Reading, School

Cultural hypocrisy?

sashikaufman

I admit that at times I’ve been lax with the books I lend to my students.  I forget that being raised by hippies means I was allowed to read pretty much whatever I want whenever I wanted.  On occasion I’ve had to deal with an angry parent who felt the subject matter of the book I lent out was too much (It’s almost always about sex.)  Keep in mind these are all YA books.  It’s just that some YA books are more appropriate for the 12-15 set and some are more appropriate for the 15 and up crowd.

I take full responsibility here and try to get a note from parents whenever kids pick up one of my books from the “special shelf”.  But it’s hard to keep on top of it and frankly I get really excited whenever anyone shows excitement about reading.  Reading can be a hard sell in the days of IM, video games, movies, and youtube.

So I find it interesting that the same parents who object to sexuality in their child’s reading material are fine with the contents of The Hunger Games.  I have a number of 8th graders reading this book.  I read it.  It was a gripping page-turner.  But it is violent and graphic and disturbing.

Sex, drugs, or violence?  What would you let your 8th grader read?

Reading

Reading on the edge

sashikaufman

This is not a post about banned books week.  Although I do find the idea of banning books to be pretty abhorrent.  No, it’s about reading on the edge of your comfort or interest zone and the surprises that can be found there.

I recently finished The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly.  I picked it up because of a favorable staff review at my local bookstore.  I don’t normally buy books this way.  Usually if I’m not sure about an author I’ll go to the library first.  Anyway, it turned out to be more of a fantasy meets gothic fairytale than I expected.  (I don’t read adult fantasy books, though occasionally I dabble in the realm of fantasy YA.)   I don’t know if I can say I liked it, but I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.  It was certainly engaging and fun to read something so different from what I normally enjoy.

Read anything lately that took you out of your comfort zone?  Was it something you’d recommend?

School, Writing

Writing about writing

sashikaufman

I’m trying to get back into blogging at least once a week.  I thought I would start off with some quotes and words of wisdom I keep posted in my classroom regarding writing.

I love to read and I love to teach reading.  I love to write but I don’t love teaching writing.  Why not?  I’m not sure.  Maybe a post for another time.

In the mean time, the first mini-poster I share with my writing students at the beginning of the year says; “I will not hate what I write.”  I got this from my Dad who has been working on a novel for over ten years.  He uses it as a mantra and a reminder to write and not judge.  I tell my students this early because I want to teach them to put away their inner critic while they’re brain-storming or drafting.  If they don’t, they’ll never get anything on paper.  “First drafts are supposed to suck,” I tell them.  (Yes, yes, I use the word suck to seem edgy and cool.  It doesn’t really work.)

Got a favorite quote or mantra about writing?

Nature, School

Long time, no blog

sashikaufman

I could offer excuses, but I won’t bother.  None of them are interesting or original.

I’m back at work in the past few days, and trying to achieve some sort of balance between my mothering world and my working world.  So far, so good.  Even though it feels hard and overwhelming at times, it also feels right.  Teaching is always a good source of blog material.  I asked my students on an introductory questionnaire, if they could have any super power what would it be?

Me: So what did you write down for your super power?

Student: Migrating!

Me: (impressed) Really?  Wow, cool choice!  Yeah you could just flap your arms and fly south!

Student: (annoyed) No, not migrating, mind-reading!

Time to get my ears checked.